Brownback and Richardson in as well

The senior senator from Kansas has thrown his hat into the ring. Sam Brownback is the pro-life guy who thinks that people in their twenties today are survivors of a Holocaust, i.e., the supposed epidemic of abortions in the wake of Roe v Wade.

The other candidate to formally announce his decision to run for president is our man Bill Richardson! He was on George S's show this morning trumpeting his Western values. I'm already sold, have been for awhile, but is America ready for such a qualified candidate? He has all the qualities ideal for the leader of the free world: intelligence, wide-ranging experience, ability to charm, multicultural background...

But we're all aware of what kind of man the American electorate favors: someone who has the IQ of a retard, speaks poorer English than the King of Jordan, squandered youth in liquor and coke, cannot tell the difference b/w a secularist like Saddam and a jihadist like bin Laden.

Americans look askance at people like, say, Kerry — 'boring,' went along with all the rules, hit all the right academic and professional milestones, book-reader, speaks a foreign language. The US of A will have a president who speaks only one language: English! He must see the world as a dichotomy of white and not white. He has to have broken laws b/c he has to be like us, crooked. We sinful mortals must be able to relate to him.

So this Bill Richardson... He served in Congress, represented his country at the United Nations as ambassador, was secretary of the Department of Energy, is often called in as a diplomatic troubleshooter, is doing a great job as governor of New Mexico, holds the world's record for shaking 13,392 hands in an 8-hour period...

He's too accomplished. Gosh, I don't think he's even smoked pot or committed adultery. Can't we find a professor who's willing to say he was dumb? Because, otherwise, he has no chance of winning. He's not flawed enough to be our president.