Ted Haggard is NOT gay

Ted Haggard is "completely heterosexual." The disgraced pastor e-mailed his congregation a message saying that the only sexual contact he ever had with men was limited to that one male prostitute we learned about last year.

According to the Denver Post, four ministers grilled Haggard intensively and their conclusion is that he was just "acting out" and that "it wasn't a constant thing." After all, it was just 3 years of paying cash for sex.

He and his wife plan to move away from Colorado Springs and get their master's degrees through online courses. He's planning to study psychology. How quaint.

Who wants to bet that other men like Mike Jones will step forward before the year is out?